Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in rightwaytofly's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
9:20 am	OH NO OH YES. Hmmmmm...my laptop was dropped. It broke. Thanks, Apple, for repairing it under warrenty. Also, I left my cell phone in a cab. No thanks, Cab Service, for bringing it back to me, and thank you for making me take the train all the way back to Queens to get it. Seriously, I didn't need those three hours of my day. I'm only moving into college. New York. -Joe- Current Mood: blank Current Music: Pearl Jam. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 30th, 2004
12:17 pm	Binks-tonic Ok, so I hate computer commercials. They start jibba-jabba-ing you with da AMD Athelon 72 gigawidth processors and nobody knows what it means. Well, at least not the normal people walking around. You nerds drinkin' yo vitamin waoootaa might know. But anyway, these commercials make people think they ought to know what they're talking about. But it ain't like that, slice dawg. So don't fall for it. In due time. WEHER'S KEEFER SUDERLAND?! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 24th, 2004
12:57 pm	Why don't you cry about it? I'm upset. And this is why: John Mayer is overrated. Don't get me wrong. I really do enjoy his music. But people calling him a "guitar god" is an insult to those who are really guitar gods. I personally know people who are five times better than John Mayer. Why is he famous? Because he's got a raspy sexy voice and a pretty face. But I've never heard of such a thing. "I like John Mayer because he's such a guitar god." Holy shit. Get real. Have you ever heard Jimi Hendrix? Have you ever heard Jimmy Page? Pete Townshend? "But Joe, John Mayer is from OUR GENERATION! LOL!" Yeah? What about Mike McCready? Tom Morello? There is no way John Mayer will ever get that sort of praise from me. You know what? I don't even enjoy him anymore. This has gotten me angry. Bottom line: John Mayer sucks and Tom Savodel is awesome. Props Tom. Other than that, Nor Cal is awesome. -Joe Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: The guitar solo from Know Your Enemy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 10th, 2004
2:29 pm	^ that's a carrot.> Japanese anime characters are hilarious because of their eyes. They pride themselves on being such awesome artists, but everything is so out of proportion. I like it though, I'm not bashing Japanese anime or anything. Anything. Hey, who's buried in Grant's tomb? Respond with answers. Guess who is back. That's right, it's Paul. Paul the yetti is back and ready for action. He's very happy it's spring time outside, and he wants to do some jet skiing on lake wallendfpaucvnjnapacjhk. For those of you who don't know where Paul went, or who Paul is, he's a yetti that I met in my backyard one day long ago. He went to run for president, but he only had like...fo' dollas that I lent him, and that's not nearly enough to run for president. You have to pay like 17 bucks just to get one of those forms for "presidency". Who thinks Paul would make a good president? Raise your hand. I think he would make an awesome president. High fives for PAUL FOR PRESIDENT. Anyone? Anyone? Alright, well, just vote Paul for president. It'll be a write-in. One of those...write-in...votes... well I guess if everyone does it, he might win. Or at least beat Nader. Republicats. Democrans. -Joe- Vote Paul. Current Mood: Vote Paul. Current Music: Tetsuo. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
1:51 pm	Smash the clocks, BREAK THE STUFF. Ok, so it was quite a busy weekend for Joe and company. Mike turned eighteen. Alrighty mctighty. And there was also a little school gathering called the "Prom". Now, at this "Prom" there is no alcohol, but there is some food, and much dancing. Dancing was going on in the vicinity of Leo, Drew, Marky Mark, Mike the Weiss, and the Killa himself. Not only did we dance...we danced. So then after this "Prom" was over, people went hither, people went thither. But the place to be was very obviously at Killa's house, for after the dancing at "Prom", there was dancing at the house, but Corona showed up with her friend Heineken. Absolute Citron came, but she showed up a little late, and we were already drunk. Drew and I even drank a Corona through telekinesis. Marky took a picture of it. It's radical. Ok and we also made some house rules. I will attempt to remember some of them: 1) If you say something 6x, that's way too many. 2) uhh...can't remember. 3) nope, can't remember this one either. 4) You cannot say "is" 5) Where the fuck are Leo? 7) Skip rule numba 6. 8) Everyone must talk like a pirate. ARRRGGH. 9) No unfinished alcohol. Or business. 10) I don't recall... 11) Wanna get high? 12) Fuck skreamy superintendent camel. 13) The host cannot be pissed. 72) No dancing near stairs. Ok those are the ones that I remember. Maybe when I h ave the sheet of paper in front of me I will be a sport and update this. Good game. Good game. -Joe- Current Mood: "Proom" Current Music: Iron & Wine (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 21st, 2004
8:54 pm	The United States of all 50 States. Here are some things that I hate: I hate it when Mike the Weiss's house has no more strawberry pop-tarts and only has chocolate ones because Alissa ate all the strawberry ones. I hate that. I also hate banana snacks because they are the only alternative to chocolate pop-tarts. However, I do like alternative music. I think I hate banana more than I hate chocolate so I'll have a a chocolate one instead. Rattlesnakes are cool though, rattlesnakes could stay. Ok, story time. Mike was just outside and he was talking to Karla. All of a suddenly out of NO WHERE a bumble bee flies right past Mike's beautiful face. He consquently flips out and while trying to swat the bee, punches himself in the face. He just went to get a pop ice to make himself feel better. Yes. Mike the Weiss punched himself in the face. I guess it's cool that bumble bees are out though. That means it's spring time. It won't be cool later on, though, you know, after they sting me seven times. Then bumble bees will be one of those things I hate a lot. Like bananas and subway fares. Oy. Oui. Ne pas. -Joe- Current Mood: accomplished? Current Music: Hey Mercedes - Eleven. To Yo' Seven. HUH. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 18th, 2004
5:25 am	I say Mum danced like a cat. The Met in New York "suggests" you make a "donation" and they swear it's not an entry fee. I love it. And they kick and scream at you when you're not wearing that stupid button that you recieve when you make your "voluntary" "donation". I love it. "Seven dollars suggested." How about I suggest you shove that seven dollars in your ear. That's MY entry fee. You sticking seven dollar bills in your ear. That's it. You could even keep the seven dollars. It would be awesome if I had a museum. I would have all kinds of cool things in it like... the carton of orange juice I finished three days ago. The drumstick I broke at last band practice. There would be a caption by it saying "This is a drumstick broken by Joe. It is one of many. Other musicians know Joe. They play music with him. And dance. To Jackson Five. With beer." Oh man how awesome would that be to have a drumstick in a museum with that caption by it. Look at how hip I am. I have a Live Journal. And I'm listening to Radiohead. That's hip, right? Ok, and Shannon is still sleeping. And it's 10:15. I've been awaked for at least an hour. But no, she's still sleeping. I enjoy being a morning person. Are you a morning person? Take this quick hip quiz to find out if you are a morning person: 1) Do people call you crazy? 2) Do you wake up early? 3) How early? 4) Do people call you a morning person? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you're probably a morning person. Oh man, I'm so hip, I made an online quiz. Being a morning person is awesome because you get more hours out of the day than regular people do. And sometimes you catch robbers. And if you wake up early enough you can catch the tooth fairy. Then you can knock out all her teeth and steal her quarters. Awesome. -Joe- Current Mood: hip Current Music: The Frames (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 6th, 2004
2:08 pm	A FO'TY AND A PONY! Ok, this actually happened. While sitting at home watching my favorite cooking show with Jamie Oliver, my parents enter the house with a big box. The box appeared to be clucking. I was confused, then they told me that they had bought two live chickens, and they were planning on killing them and making them into chicken soup. Quite odd. Anyway, I didn't stop them, but I did get my camera. My superhero dad took the chickens out back and proceeded to snap the neck of the first chicken. It twitched a little bit and then just lied there. To make the feathering process easier, you dump the chicken in hot water. This makes the feathers loose. As my father was dipping the dead chicken in hot water, it decided that it wasn't quite dead yet, and it started to fly. My father was understandably very traumatized because it appeared that he did kill it. "Joe, I fucking killed that thing. What is it doing?!" My father then caught the chicken again, and proceeded to tear at it's neck until it was hanging on by a threat. Crazy. When it was finally dead, they plucked it and put it in a pot. My father was obviously very bothered by the situation and asked me to go get him some chinese food. My mother and sister ate the chicken soup, and consequently got sick. I was never sure as to what happened to the other chicken. Current Mood: Watchcho' self Current Music: glassjaw. (Comment on this)
Friday, April 2nd, 2004
4:37 pm	NINJA ATTACK7689..............> At approximately 2:45 in the AM on April 1st 2004, 4 ninjas (whom will remain nameless) infultrated the Hoffmann residence. They then proceeded to scatter 800 durable plastic forks on the couple's front yard. One ninja was sighted placing a large wooden sign on the front porch of the home. The sign said "Forks 4 Sale". After much kicking, punching, and flipping through the air, the really awesome and super mega awesome ninjas escaped without a scratch on their super awesome bodies. We...I mean, those ninjas, even got it all on video tape. Current Mood: quixotic Current Music: Kill Bill Soundtrack (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
1:18 pm	Story time,. sit down WITH JOEWY Everything in this story actually happened. Nothing is fake. Believe me with this one. Oh man. I went out with Malinda and Drew. We were driving, and Mike the Weiss calls me and says that he is at my house, but I'm not there, so he's just going to use my bathroom and leave. I say "...ok." About seven minutes later, I get a call from Mike the Weiss, but it was all screaming and I could not understand him because he had bad reception. I said "uh oh," and rushed home. When I got home, Mike the Weiss had left. Something very dirty was going on. I stepped into the house and heard a waterfall. I ran downstairs and discovered my basement being flooded as I spoke. The ceiling was leaking in about 845719840572487 different spots. And it was raining. Yes. Raining poop water. After I let out a big scream, I ran upstairs and turned the water off in the bathroom. Minutes later, Mike the Weiss showed up at my house and frantically ran inside with a newly bought plunger. I yell "MIKE, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SUPPOSE TO DO WITH THAT?!" He doesn't know, I don't know, whatever. By this time, because I had the brilliant idea of turning the water off in my bathroom, it stopped raining in my basement. It didn't change the fact that there was about four inches of water everywhere. Much yelling ensued. Eventually, we had cleared the water out of the basement using a snow scraper and squeegie and ruined about seven towels. I later discovered the event that caused this extreme clogging was the purchasing of a cream cheese bagel for Mike the Weiss. A certain Daniel Waldron had bought it for him. I briefly chastised him. Another detail is that the plunger that used to be in my bathroom had been moved by a certain Jesse Franz. It is safe to say that he might burn in hell for this. Now I can safely say that my house almost collapsed because of a bagel. Current Mood: drained Current Music: Glassjaw. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 20th, 2004
2:13 pm	The New Year ...I wish the world was flat like the old days And I could travel just by folding the map. No more airplanes or speed trains or freeways. There'd be no distance that could hold us back... Current Music: Death Cab For Cutie. (Comment on this)
2:00 pm	TIME FORA CHANGE I went to a different journal. SO NOW THIS IS IT. update your favorites. this is where you will from now on GO when you wish to read any hilaroty that i might rite. all rite. That's it for now, come back soon. A line allows progress, a circle does not. (Comment on this)